In our modern house, we have a real laptop, and a redneck laptop. I’m typing this on the redneck laptop.

The redneck laptop began with a genuine computer desk. You know them. They are the kind where you put the monitor on the top, the keyboard on a sliding tray, and the mouse pad holder actually swings out toward you. It’s a tidy little package, and one that I’m proud to own.

The computer desk came to us by way of the Aspen Skiing Company. About 8 years ago, they were going to throw it away because it was cheaply made and the thing was falling apart. The keyboard tray would literally come off the hinges and fall in your lap. I studied the thing which was sitting in the locker room with a FREE sign on it and decided that it was just the challenge for me. I took the wobbly little desk home, ran a half inch all-thread rod from side to side, tightened down the half inch nuts (which will hold up the Brooklyn Bridge) and voila! A functional desk.

Fast forward to today. The nifty little swing out mouse pad holder finally snapped off. My whole family uses the mouse by setting the holder on our laps. Or we use a telephone book. Or we drive the mouse around on our pants, or skirts, or the baby’s head.

The computer desk is laden with a broken pad holder, a cup and spoon that probably held chocolate water (you know how 5 year olds are), composition books, picture books, yellow electrical tape, a Bible (KJV), drawing pads, and I’m not sure what else. Oh look. Floppy disks.

All in all, it’s a place of refuge, a place of creativity, a place to do your schoolwork. It works for now, and that’s what matters. I just hope that the duct tape holds the monitor to the wall a little longer…