Resume Enhancement Techniques- Part 2

Last time we found out that on a resume, I can position the lowly job of “raking the sandbox” as “Leveling the Playing Field.”  This is no joke, and it will be beneficial to advancing my (somewhat dubious) career. Whatever that career is.

In today’s installment, we take the concept of resume enhancement even further, with a much more specific enhancement, and satisfying results:

The sign on the cave tour guide shack says, “B Guide- bury fossils”.  This, too, is no joke. If we provide hidden fossils for kids to discover, then they will smile, and we have a “Mission Accomplished” scenario.

So I go out to the giant sandbox early in the day with a bag of fossils in my hand. I ponder all the nuances of planting fossils, sip my coffee, study the lay of the land and begin.

I dump all of the fossils next to the kiddie sand strainers, smoosh them into the sand with my foot, and walk away. “Mission Accomplished”.

We never had “Fossil Planting- 101” at the college I graduated from.

So I begin the task of turning this little ritual into a career-rocketing resume enhancement entry:

“Director of Paleontological Discoveries.”

“As DOPD, I was responsible for all fossil finds within the Park boundaries, on the days I was scheduled. Fossils ranged from the Dramamine Era, to the later Starbucks Epoch.”

I worked in close proximity to the paleontoligists and elicited suggestions at the sponsored digs.

What’s next?

Resume Enhancement Techniques- Part 1

Sign on our Tour Guide Shack interior: “B GUIDE- PLEASE SWEEP SANDBOX”.

Today, I’m a “B GUIDE.” Not because my last name begins with B, but because of my scheduled arrival time.

So I dutifully grab the big red push broom and head down to the sandbox and drag the broom around the interior of the 20×20 ft. shaded play place complete with 15 cubic yards of sand, 6 Tonka trucks, and a smattering of strainers and shovels (to be included in Part 2 of my resume enhancement techniques.)

Suddenly, I’m on my dad’s International Farmall “H” tractor back in Indiana in the 1970s. As mom would say, “You boys are out dragging the fields.”

I think to myself, “I never got to do this when I was a guide at Mesa Verde National Park, or the Maroon Bells. I don’t remember any courses in college discussing ‘sweeping the sandbox’.”

So in the interest of advancing my career (and who doesn’t want to advance their career past sweeping sandboxes), I gave some thought as to how I’d position the sandbox duty on my next job resume:

“…As the dedicated team of managers saw my work practices enhancing the mission statement of our business, they began to rely on me more and more to help level the playing field.”

I think I’m on to something…