Every now and then an idea comes down the pike that the whole world should embrace. The “Curly Fry Diet” is just such an idea. Here’s how it works:

At the restaurant, you eat any thing you can that has little or no calories. Lettuce with black pepper on it, celery dipped in water, or unbleached napkins. The idea is to fill you stomach to nearly the point of bursting (like a cheap relative who mooches off of you at Thanksgiving). Then at the last second, you ask someone near you for a curly fry.

“I’m on a special diet,” you nonchalantly say to your french fry host.

When you eat it, the “Curly Fry Molecule” will be activated in your head and then Tweet your brain with: “Those fries were good, but I gotta stop eating now. I’m about to puke.”

Voila!

You just saved about 950 calories, and satisfied the curly fry “crave” molecule.

Look for my white paper in the New England Journal of Medicine.

I haven’t actually lost any weight on the Curly Fry Diet yet, but I’ve saved a lot of money on fries.

Now, has anyone seen any napkins around here?