So there I was, untying a cactus from a tree. Not just any old cactus, but a 7 foot tall cactus. No, make that two cacti. They weren’t exactly up in the tree. They were leaning against the tree. I’m the one up in the tree on a small branch. As I’m struggling with the knot, I’m thinking to myself, “I hope this branch doesn’t break, or I will land on the cactus.” Of course this was taking place just one hour after Jason and I saw our first dead moose laying on the side of the road. Man, living in Colorado is challenging.

There are two things in this world that I hate working with: sheep, and cactus. Yesterday, 1000 sheep went walking by onto our road as they were being driven home out of the high country. Today was Seven Foot Tall Cactus Day.

I’m struggling with the knots on the cactus while wearing rubber gloves. How rubber gloves are going to protect you from the prickers, is anybody’s guess. The guy who tied the knots, never intended to untie them himself. He must have tightened them with vice grips.

I got the cacti untied, climbed down, and Jason showed up with a hand cart. The owner said that we could wrap the thin white cloth around the cacti for transport, and that way we would “hardly get any prickers” in us. Brother! I told Jason that I wanted to go back to the truck, get a machete, and chop the top 3 feet of of the impending disasters off. When I suggested wrapping cardboard around the towering pincushions, everybody agreed. Jason and I went wheeling the flopping cacti to the truck and loaded them in.

On the way back to the store where we were delivering the cacti, Jason hit a bump, and when we opened the back door of the delivery truck, the cacti (which had been strapped down as best we knew how to strap flopping seven foot cacti in minuscule pots , down) were laying on their side. More cardboard, more ropes to hoist the cacti onto their feet, more tape. We just about lost Jason and one of the cacti off of the hoist lift on the back of the truck. Can you imagine laying in the bushes with a seven foot octopus full of prickers on top of you? “One Adam Twelve. See the man laying under a cactus at _______. Be advised to wear welding gloves upon arrival…”

We got the cacti into the store, unwrapped them, and leaned them up against a wall. They were so floppy, that the previous owner had the gardener remove them from the house, and tie them to a pine tree outside, so we could come and remove them.

What a day. I even got into an argument with the GPS. I knew full well where we were going. I had just been to a birthday party near there a few weeks ago. These GPS contraptions often take you the long way around. ‘ Turns out the GPS was right. And she’s never even been to that part of Colorado, before.

I’m not sure. If you had the choice, would you rather lay under a seven foot cactus, or a dead moose?