Tag Archives: cave tour guide

Exclamation Point

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Can you see the cave tour guide and the tourists in the photo?

This is my favorite part of being a tour guide at Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park: Bringing people out to a cliff 1300 ft. above the Colorado river.

People never expect to end up on a precipice, let alone so high up the canyon walls.

When I follow the group out onto the platform, I say, “Thank you all for coming on the tour, today. We will be issuing parachutes so you can go home now.” (Nervous laughter.)

The original platform was built around 1898 by Charles W. Darrow, brother of Clarence Darrow, the famous lawyer and Scopes Monkey Trial lawyer.

The original platform had no guardrail.

Instead of calling it “Exclamation Point”, I would have called it “Perspiration Point.”

The Last Bungee Jump

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The lady standing on the Jump Tower in the photo was finding it very hard to leap. She stood there for what seemed like an eternity, and may be 10 eternities for her. She’s at Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park where I work as a cave tour guide.

The bungee tower jumpers were a fun thing to watch, and the screams by little girls, (and men who screamed louder than little girls), was a real smile maker.

That tower saw its last jumper a week ago. The bungee tower will not be used next year. Something about money I suppose.

Anyway, it was a fun part of working at the park.

Oh…she never did jump. ‘Can’t blame her.

How Was Your Commute?

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I can’t talk right now. The tram is coming to pick me up for work here at Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park where I’m  cave tour guide.

When people ask me if I like my job, I just smile and say, “Yeah.”

You have to like a commuter car that picks you up under these circumstances.

What It Takes to be a Cave Tour Guide

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In case you were wondering, not everybody can be a cave tour guide. It takes a special sort of person, and I’m sort of extra special. Don’t try this at home:

Last week, I showed up for work with no lunch, no lunch money, and no breakfast. Don’t feel sorry for me, though. I have resources, and like the Jews in the wilderness, my manna comes daily. It just looks a little crazier.

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I got to work a half hour early. For breakfast, I had a bag of microwave popcorn, a boatload of baked beans (left over from ‘the big private party at the caverns the night before), and several glasses of free Coca Cola. Now THAT’S a breakfast!

And you wonder why your cave tour guide is smiling when he shows up. He’s just eaten 15 ounces of baked beans, and he’s going to walk through the cave ahead of you.

Yeah, being a cave tour guide is not for wussies.

I just wish this passageway was not so small.

The Beauty Channel

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Who comes on my cave tours? Everybody. That’s what makes it so fun. Today, I had guys with tattoos all over their body standing next to Amish tourists. I’ve had Adult, educated, Europeans standing next to runny nosed little American kids. Somehow, we all are able to come together and enjoy the incredible beauty underground. I like that. It’s not like we have to fight over what channel to watch. We only get one channel underground-the Beauty Channel. Let’s all explore it together.