Tag Archives: college

Target Doesn’t Know Anything About College

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My 18 year old son is headed to college this fall.
Being the organized person that he is (this proves that “the apple CAN fall far from the tree”),  he got the college checklist of necessary items from target, and began reading the list off.

“Gaming station”, stood out in my mind as one of the most important necessities for college. “Toilet brush” was probably second.

“Hey, Dad,” Caleb mused, “They don’t even have pencils on the list.”

“How about paper?” I inquired.

“Nope.”

“Little multicolored erasers that you put on your pencil?”

“Not that, either.”

All told, there were 5 different devices listed which are used for entertainment.

College sure has changed since I was there. For our entertainment, we played Round Robin ping pong until the Resident Assistant shut us down around midnight. Then we sat up ‘till 2 am solving all of the world’s problems. Then the troublemakers in the dorm would get drunk, and throw Chinese Throwing Stars at the drywall until 4 am.

If I need to go back to college for another degree, I’m gonna have to buy a lot of batteries.

NASA Flubbed

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Some people are upset that the landing of the NASA gizmo on Mars didn’t cause much of a buzz. But in all honesty, look what happened…

The Olympics have been the big event for a few thousand years . Then NASA shows up and hires scientists who couldn’t have had worse timing if they’d scheduled the Mars Rover landing during the Super Bowl.

Come on guys. Didn’t you go to college to learn physics, advanced math, spit wad trajectories, and interplanetary social skills? You had the most advanced information in the history of mankind available to plan your space flight, and you messed it up. I bet you scheduled your spur-of-the-moment frat parties better than the Mars Rover landing.

Think of the result:

The Olympics went head to head with pictures of a place that looks like Barstow, California on an average day.

“ We interrupt this age-old athletic event, chronicling human beings competing in gloriously beautiful sporting contests, to bring you a picture of dirt.”

Dirt.

“That’s amazing dirt, Roger”.”

“Yes it is. I can’t tell, but I think it’s red, like Colorado dirt.”

“Oh, look! Is that a wheel in the picture?”

“A wheel on the dirt, I believe!”

“That dirt may have contained life at one time, Roger.”

“Wow,this is a momentous event.”

“I makes me want to cry.”

Dirt. Dirt on a low-resolution photo, with bad lighting. Woo Hoo!

The best thing that came out of that NASA photo shoot was a Photoshopped image of Marvin Martian sticking his head in from the side.

The Mars announcement was a big yawn. At least in Barstow, California, there used to be life on the dirt.