Tag Archives: Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park

Exclamation Point

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Can you see the cave tour guide and the tourists in the photo?

This is my favorite part of being a tour guide at Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park: Bringing people out to a cliff 1300 ft. above the Colorado river.

People never expect to end up on a precipice, let alone so high up the canyon walls.

When I follow the group out onto the platform, I say, “Thank you all for coming on the tour, today. We will be issuing parachutes so you can go home now.” (Nervous laughter.)

The original platform was built around 1898 by Charles W. Darrow, brother of Clarence Darrow, the famous lawyer and Scopes Monkey Trial lawyer.

The original platform had no guardrail.

Instead of calling it “Exclamation Point”, I would have called it “Perspiration Point.”

The Last Bungee Jump

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The lady standing on the Jump Tower in the photo was finding it very hard to leap. She stood there for what seemed like an eternity, and may be 10 eternities for her. She’s at Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park where I work as a cave tour guide.

The bungee tower jumpers were a fun thing to watch, and the screams by little girls, (and men who screamed louder than little girls), was a real smile maker.

That tower saw its last jumper a week ago. The bungee tower will not be used next year. Something about money I suppose.

Anyway, it was a fun part of working at the park.

Oh…she never did jump. ‘Can’t blame her.

How Was Your Commute?

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I can’t talk right now. The tram is coming to pick me up for work here at Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park where I’m  cave tour guide.

When people ask me if I like my job, I just smile and say, “Yeah.”

You have to like a commuter car that picks you up under these circumstances.

Barn Joke

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You’re looking at the second largest cave room in Colorado. It’s called “The Barn”, and tourists consider it one of the highlights of my guided cave tours at Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park.

One joke I like to tell at the top of the barn is when we are standing at the top of the stair steps just about to go clomping down to the bottom:

I shine my flashlight on a bench and say, “This feature is called, ‘The Bench.’ It was discovered 12 years ago by carpenters in the cave. If you don’t want do go down to the bottom of the barn (that’s 127 stair steps down, 33,685 stair steps back up) you may sit on “The Bench” and listen to the water drip until we come back up.”

Laughter.

As we head down the stairs, I invariably will see someone who decides to sit out the walk on “The Bench.”

“Practical joke” takes on a new meaning on my tours.

I love sitting here and listening to the water drip in the cave. I wonder if the people on my tour are having a nice time down there without me.

UFOs in the Cave

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If you take  cave tour with me at Glenwood Caverns Adventure Park, you will see these signs in various places. I’m not exactly sure what they mean.

At first I thought they meant “No bloody hands in the cave.”

I realized that the owners wouldn’t put stuff on the tours which would scare kids, so I concluded that the sign meant “Don’t cut your hand on the stalactites.” That almost made sense until I realized that the picture is not of a human hand.

It is obviously the hand of some mutant creature from another planet. It’s unearthly.

The only conclusion that I can come to is that the sign means,”Don’t cut your alien fingers in the cave.”

Ever since then, I’ve been looking for traces of UFOs in the cave.

I’ve noticed the Sharpshooter photographers acting a little odd lately.

The lights are acting weird in Kings Row, and the bat is a little rambunctious lately.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go check out those stalactites. I think behind them I see a set of antennas