Matt and I were discussing the new cave tour for next year:

“We will probably put in switches along the way so the tour guide can turn off lights behind the group,” said Matt. “That way the guides can keep the tour moving along,” he beamed.

“I’ve got a better idea,” I replied. “Why don’t we grow some Spanktites in the cave?”

“What are ‘Spanktites?” Matt wanted to know.

“They’re like Stalagmites, and Stalactites, only they grow horizontally,” I answered. “The Spanktites could be spring loaded to swat the lollygaggers in the parotid,” I offered.

Matt wasn’t real sure if we should be artificially growing things in the cave. The spanking part didn’t seem to bother him, though.

I thought it was all better than the “Impale-tites” I was going suggest.

I’ve got a few months to work out the bugs.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get a pliers to bend some stalactites.

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