I entered the presidential race with this spectacular video using a lawn ornament.
My mom used to wish that I was running for President of the United States. Now I am.
I put together a crack team of powerful, elite “handlers, lawyers, marketing interns, and makeup artists,” and threw my hat into the ring. My Media Consortium from Bangladesh produced this stunning new video.
Sit back with a bowl of low fat popcorn and enjoy throwing the kernels at your computer screen. Hit the spinning wheels and score 500 points. Hit the yellow daisy and you score 1000.
The first person to score 100,000 gets to be my running mate, or Secretary of Ice Cream Parlors, whichever opening is available.
This painting hangs in Alpine Bank, in Glenwood Springs, Colorado. You’re looking at Haggerman Peak and Snowmass Lake, in the Maroon Bells-Snowmass Wilderness Area, near Aspen, Colorado.
I used to be a GS-4 Wilderness Ranger at Snowmass Lake. I would backpack up to the lake and camp there for 4 nights as part of my patrol. My campsite was in a “secret” location about 200 feet from the viewpoint of this artist.
I used to make pudding, and keep it cold in the creek right over where that tree stump is on the left side.
The stories of my summer at Snowmass Lake would amuse, stun, and chill you to the bone.
I had the pleasure of camping there with my wife, Marti, several years after working there. I caught the biggest fish of my life on that trip, and surprised Marti when she woke up to a frying pan 2 feet from her head, and a monster trout hanging out both ends of the pan.
If you ever get to Snowmass Lake and see this view, you’ll know why I think it’s the most beautiful place in Colorado.
Anyone who has been on the Internet lately (I assume you’re not reading this on a bulletin board at work) has noticed the “stimulus” ads. I’m talking about the ones using Barack Obama’s name.
“Barack Obama wants you to lose weight!”
“Barack Obama wants you to buy a new car!”
“Barack Obama wants you to buy organic toenail clippers!”
Who are these people, and why don’t they fire their ad agencies? Do they really think that Americans want the President telling them what to do on EVERYTHING?
“Barack Obama wants you to invest in yo-yos!”
“Barack Obama wants you to sell your children to slave traders and go back to school!”
“Earn your B.A. (Barack of America) degree while sitting at home collecting unemployment!”
To have so many ads on the Internet using Barack Obama’s stimulus plan as the impetus, shows what a nation of charlatans and con men we’ve become. Either that, or we are all now taking marching orders from our new Commander in Chief. Or maybe we all are greedy and just want “the other guy” to pay for our life’s choices.
“Barack Obama wants you to plant wildflowers!”
“Barack Obama wants you to give blood to the needy government!”
“Barack Obama wants you to lick his boots! Only $29.95. Don’t delay!”
The chickens will come home to roost when Americans start calling the White House switchboard and begin asking questions like, “Mr. President, where should I send my kid to college?… Or camp?”
“Mr. Obama, which peanut butter should I buy?”
“Mr. President of the Century, where did I put my car keys?”
“Hey Barry, can I borrow the car tonight?
“What’s up with last week’s NASCAR satellite feed?
“Why are there so many questions about cars on Jerry Begly’s blog site?”
I don’t know. Maybe it’s OK for Barack Obama to be invoked about everything. After all, he asked for it.
“Hello Whitehouse? My organic toenail clippers broke. Where do I send them for repair?"
