My mom used to wish that I was running for President of the United States. Now I am.

I put together a crack team of powerful, elite “handlers, lawyers, marketing interns, and makeup artists,” and threw my hat into the ring. My Media Consortium from Bangladesh produced this stunning new video.

Sit back with a bowl of low fat popcorn and enjoy throwing the kernels at your computer screen. Hit the spinning wheels and score 500 points. Hit the yellow daisy and you score 1000.

The first person to score 100,000 gets to be my running mate, or Secretary of Ice Cream Parlors, whichever opening is available.

I’m Jerry Begly, and I approve of this post.