The other night, I wandered out onto our south deck only to be confronted by a little creature with bug eyes, and long fuzzy arms. It looked at me and started talking some strange gibberish.

Something about stars, planets, and Gummi Bears.

I wasn’t sure if I should be afraid of the creature, of if I should ask it into the house to wash its dirty feet. It looked up at me with its coal black eyes and said it wanted to sleep out on the porch.

Then it started doing the “Pee Pee Dance”.

So I picked it up, carried it to the porta potty and sat it down. I hauled it into our house, gave it a toothbrush, and talked with my wife.

We decided to keep the little creature, and it has been a delight to have around ever since; not the least of which was, last night showing up with charcoal all over its face, painted to look like a beard.

Watch out for little aliens showing up at your house. They will suck the heart right out of your chest.