Potato Chip in a Cloud

fire in glenwood 007

This summer I took a picture of these clouds. Actually, I have a digital camera, so I took 3,785 pictures. After deleting 3762 photos, I noticed something rather shocking.

If you scan the photo very quickly with squinted eyes that are blurred by computer overuse, you will see the outline of a potato chip in the clouds. Not just any chip, but a kettle fried chip. You know, the kind that are all crinkley  and disfigured.

When I told my neighbor Lestor about the find, word got out. Lester must have a lot of relatives. The photo went viral in the Goshen News and Wakarusa Tribune. Suddenly people began showing up at my house to see the actual photo of the potato chip.

In the last week, over 18,000 pilgrims have showed up at my doorstep to view the potato chip photo. Campers are parked on a 5 mile stretch of road leading up to our house, neighbors are selling tickets to see the photo, visitors’ dogs are barking their brains out 24 hours a day, and toilet paper is blowing everywhere.

This is out of control.

Yesterday, a guy appeared at my door wearing a t-shirt proclaiming, “I SAW THE POTATO CHIP”.

People are kissing hand, my computer, and my pantry doors.

I’m just glad that I didn’t see a NASCAR in the clouds.

Barack Obama Wants You to Buy Toenail Clippers

Anyone who has been on the Internet lately (I assume you’re not reading this on a bulletin board at work) has noticed the “stimulus” ads. I’m talking about the ones using Barack Obama’s name.

“Barack Obama wants you to lose weight!”

“Barack Obama wants you to buy a new car!”

“Barack Obama wants you to buy organic toenail clippers!”

Who are these people, and why don’t they fire their ad agencies? Do they really think that Americans want the President telling them what to do on EVERYTHING?

“Barack Obama wants you to invest in yo-yos!”

“Barack Obama wants you to sell your children to slave traders and go back to school!”

“Earn your B.A. (Barack of America) degree while sitting at home collecting unemployment!”

To have so many ads on the Internet using Barack Obama’s stimulus plan as the impetus, shows what a nation of charlatans and con men we’ve become. Either that, or we are all now taking marching orders from our new Commander in Chief. Or maybe we all are greedy and just want “the other guy” to pay for our life’s choices.

“Barack Obama wants you to plant wildflowers!”

“Barack Obama wants you to give blood to the needy government!”

“Barack Obama wants you to lick his boots! Only $29.95. Don’t delay!”

The chickens will come home to roost when Americans start calling the White House switchboard and begin asking questions like, “Mr. President, where should I send my kid to college?… Or camp?”

“Mr. Obama, which peanut butter should I buy?”

“Mr. President of the Century, where did I put my car keys?”

“Hey Barry, can I borrow the car tonight?

“What’s up with last week’s NASCAR satellite feed?

“Why are there so many questions about cars on Jerry Begly’s blog site?”

I don’t know. Maybe it’s OK for Barack Obama to be invoked about everything. After all, he asked for it.

“Hello Whitehouse? My organic toenail clippers broke. Where do I send them for repair?"