Heat Your Home With Plastic Bags

DSCN1541[1]

Many of the world’s great scientific discoveries came quite by accident. Remember “Come here Watson, I need you?” Then there’s the discovery of Wheaties. A cook at an institution was making gruel for breakfast when the porridge was spilled on a hot stove, making a crispy flake. The cook ate the flake and , viola, Wheaties was born.

In the same spirit of serendipitous invention I have discovered how to heat your home using plastic bags. Not just any plastic bag, but the kind you put broccoli into at the grocery store.

I was at work recently and accidentally let my plastic bag come in contact with the drywall. When I let go of it I noticed that it was sticking to the wall just like a booger.

In the photo above, the little speck on the right hand side is a booger, not a bug. Apparently, where I work no one does a “Booger Background Check” and they hire people who wipe boogers on walls. Come to think of it, they don’t even have a question on the job application that asks “Do you ever wipe boogers on your employers walls?”

But I digress.

Anyway, the bag stuck to the wall because of static electricity. The bag had rubbed on my fleece coat and decided to hang out with the paint  and gypsum on the drywall.

So I got to thinking, “What would happen if you took all of the plastic bags out of the recycle bin at the grocery store, rubbed them on your fleece coat, and stuck them to the walls of your house? You’d get more dead air space and as we all know, that translates into a warmer house.

By my estimates, 5000 plastic bags in an average bedroom would raise the temperature by 3.5 degrees Celsius.

You would need to acquire a lot of plastic bags, and go to the Thrift Shop Second Hand Store where you can buy old fleece coats that say “Aspen Police Department Ski Team” for a dollar.

Let me know if you are having trouble attaching the bags to the walls of your home. I can probably get that mystery employee to come over to your house and attach the bags using boogers.