Dangerous Highway 133

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Highway 133 in Colorado is rated by the Colorado Department of Transportation to be the 5th most dangerous road in the state. The road itself is impeccable. The blacktop is kept up to standards, there are guardrails on many of the curves, and the striping paint is always well done (except for that one time when the painter wobbled the centerline for about 5 miles. We think he was either hung-over, or it was his last day on the job.)

Nonetheless, there are persistent dangers on the road that I drive seven days a week, not the least of which, are the mudslides. On the most recent episode of “Have Mudslide, Won’t Travel,” I counted no less than 30 spots where the mud came out onto the road.

It reminds me of the time we were headed home and a big slide covered all the width of the road near Redstone, Colorado. It was raining, and nearly dark. Vehicles were backed up, but a few four-wheel drive trucks were coming our way through the mudflow.

I asked my son, Caleb to run up to the slide and see if he thought I could make it through with the Subaru we were in. He came back out of breath with, “Yeah, if you go fast enough you can do it.”

So being in the mood for adventure (when am I not in the mood for adventure?) we hit the mudslide at about 30 mph. It was deeper than I expected, and the rocks were bigger than I would have wanted to go over, but hey, we were in the middle of a quality father-son experience.

The car bottom hit some rocks, and we bounced like a cheap quarter ride at the mall. The car cleared the slide, and we came out the other side with a “Yee Haw!” and a prayer of thanks.

“We may have wrecked the bottom of the car, or punctured the gas tank,” I told Caleb.

“I said you could make it through. I didn’t say you wouldn’t wreck the car,” Caleb replied.

Mud flows can be fun. Just don’t try it at home.

How to Spank a Mountain Lion

Get up at 5am while it’s still dark out.  Put on your work pants and climb into your Subaru. Drive down a dirt road high in the Colorado Rockies and turn right onto the blacktop county road. 

Watch for rocks rolling down off of the hillside, deer standing on the road, geese at the edge of the road, ice on the curves, and Marble quarry workers driving upvalley on the wrong side of the road.

When you get to Bogan Flats campground, group site, notice something running up the steep embankment at high speed on a collision course with your car. Step firmly, and without panic on your brakes, hoping that it won’t be a big splat. 

As your car deaccelerates to about 3 m.p.h. notice that the animal directly in front of your grill is an adult mountain lion, running for his life. 

Because you had not been able to come to a complete stop yet, bump the mountain lion on his keister and watch him stumble, like a football player who almost got tackled, but didn’t quite fall to the ground.

As the lion regains his balance and jets up the hill side into the dark timber, roll your window down and look at the tracks he left in the snow at the edge of the road.

When your heartrate goes back down below 190, put the car in gear and continue your morning commute to work. You just spanked a mountain lion with your Subaru. Good morning from Marble, Colorado.